Little Bro
by Buzzkill15
Summary: What if Alex wasn't an only child, what if he had a little brother. Not strictly following timeline because I haven't read all the books. K- unit appear ... a lot. First FanFiction so be kind please Review if you can be bothered.
1. growl that again?

**Disclaimer**** i do not own Alex Rider or any characters in the story**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Cause I'm back on the track<p>

And I'm leadin' the pack

Nobody's gonna get me on another rap

So look at me now

I'm just makin' my play

Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way

I crank up the volume of the car radio ignoring the glare from the man driving. I mean seriously I get pulled outta _MY_ home outta _MY_ school outta _MY_ life because my godfather – who I haven't seen in at least 5 years – has died. They won't even tell me how he died, Anthony Sean Howell/ ASH. Well at least I might get to see my brother Alex I haven't seen him in 3 years but we email each other every other week but I have a feeling he's cherry picking his life story, or at least not telling the truth. Yeah I do realise how weird and crazy that sounds I mean he's just turned 16 he's not some crazy terrorist. Anyhowz the guy driving the cars a little weird all he does is glare and growl – yes seriously – and I'm stuck with him for another couple hours. He doesn't even appreciate good music.

"Sooo …"

"What."

Okay note to self don't talk to crazy guy. Oh crap now he's staring at me, might as well continue.

"You know how my godfather died?"

He glares at me then glares at the road

"You know if the wind changes and your face gets stuck that way it won't do you any favours."

Another note to self don't use humour around growly guy. This Is gonna be a long drive.


	2. Rider, Jay Rider

**Disclamer - I do not own Alex Rider or any Characters .**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Okay so I'm not at a funeral home or anywhere that would make sense to go when a relative dies. But oh no I'm going to a bank, yes, a bank, called <strong>Royal &amp; General Bank<strong>. The guy who was driving dumped me outside and growled something about Mrs Jones and deputy head, man he had a way with words then drove off into the crowded street. I walked in through the glass revolving door and asked at the desk for Mrs Jones. The Lady behind the desk looked like she belonged in an old folk's home. The conversation went something like this:

"Hey I'm looking for a Mrs Jones? She's like a deputy head or something"

"Are you Jay Granger?"

"I prefer Rider, Jay Rider." Yes I do realise how stupid that sounded but there was a rerun of Goldfinger last night. And the look I got from the receptionist made my day. However she did ring up some busybody and "inquire" about Mrs Jones.

"She'll be down in about five minutes, can I get you anything?"

I tried to give her the "Rider Glare" that is oh so famous that Alex and "Uncle" Ian had use so well but I think I got it wrong as she then proceeded to ask:

"Are you in pain dear?"

Cue long wait in a quite boring corridor.

About half an hour later a women came out of an lift and greeted me like an old friend, well I should say tried to greet me as an old friend I was having none of it but didn't want to risk messing up the "Rider Glare."


	3. Smooth

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters. **

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Okay so after the Jones lady bored me to death about how my godfather was a great man and the bank extended their condolences she finally got round to why she dragged me down to London from Glasgow, Scotland – I live with my mum's sister and her husband but they don't really care about me.<p>

"Your aunt and uncle have requested a break from you 'Unacceptable' behavior…"

I mean seriously since when was skipping school and getting arrested for skateboarding in a museum unacceptable behavior? It was all Kip's idea before you ask; he can be a convincing bitch when he wants to be.

"… So they have asked for you to stay with your brother and his guardian for a while."

I think I blinded her with my 1000 Gig watt smile that or she really didn't like the site of my teeth.

"So when do I leave?"

"Today we'll have someone drive you to his house; your stuff will arrive sometime during the week, now if you excuse me I must get on with work."

And with that she stood up and left… ok now what? She then came back into the room and motioned for me to follow her, Smooth Jay Smooth. I left the bank and clambered into a car that would take me to Alex's house – well technically it's my uncles house but he died two years ago I didn't even get invited to that funeral. Yeah in case anyone hasn't noticed my family's weird.

So eventually after a 20 minute drive we arrived and the man driving – I nicknamed him douche – was worse that Growly man he didn't even let me put music on typical trust my luck. Anyhowz we pulled up to the house it was just as I remembered it even though I haven't been here in like 5 years. Okay I've now got a to – do list while I'm here it goes something like this.

Make Alex feel dreadful about not seeing his 'baby' brother in so long

Bribe money outta said brother

find food stash

empty said food stash into stomach

sleep

Not in any particular order of course well actually there will be certain phases that I'll need to work through and then I'll finish with "I love it when a plan comes together" … I need to find a cigar. And obviously I get kicked out of the car with a finger pointed at the door and told to knock … well duh what else would I do play chappy chap run away? I mean don't get me wrong it's fun and all in the city but that would just be dumb. Okay well here goes nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>Alex will appear in next chapter with many other characters :) oh yeah review if you have any advice as this is my first FanFiction.<strong>


	4. Caught in the act

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Note to self and anyone who doesn't want to die, when a door is locked and no one answers don't go round the back and climb in a window. There was a red headed woman standing in a room dancing to what sounded like lady gaga … in a towel. She then turned around and screamed. Then 3 men burst in the door waving guns around. She then screamed even louder. So I went to plan A – if your friends with Kip you have escape plans ready at all times - I pointed in the corner behind the 3 men and yelled "GUN!"<p>

I ran past them when they all turned around out of the door and down the hall, straight into a fourth man. This is how I ended up sitting on my ass in a kitchen chair as the four men ask questions about why I'm here. The interrogation went like this.

"Who are you?"

"Jay"

"Got a second name?"

"Got a reason why you're in my brother's house?"

They all looked at each other.

"Your Cub's brother?"

I gave them the 'seriously-when-are-the-men-in-white-coats-coming-back-for-you' look that I discovered after being Kip's best friend for nearly 10 years. He's done a lot of crazy stuff over the years.

"Who's cub?"

And that's when Alex walked in the room. He froze walked out of the room then walked back in. That got him weird looks from everyone.

"Jack?" he yelled.

Then the red head came into the kitchen behind him

"What?"

Alex then pointed to the scene in front of them. So after a lot of questions and a lot of yelling and someone shouting "so we can keep him" they all calmed down. Alex then explained about how our parents died when he was 2 years old and I was 6 months old and I got shipped off to our mother's sister Anna Granger as Child services thought she could look after a baby better than Ian Rider. Trust me she couldn't look after a potted plant let alone a child. The four men left the room looking really guilty muttering something about telling wolf and the red head 'Jack' followed them out. I was left grinning at Alex.

"So how's your day been?"

He grinned right back, it looked almost like he hadn't smiled in a long time but I didn't really care I was with my family even if there was only one of them left.

* * *

><p><strong>Review or feel free to give advice - thanks<strong>


	5. The British are coming!

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>"So how's Ellie doing?" Alex asked<p>

I realised that the four men and the red head were listening in so I decided to teach them a lesson.

"Had to sell her, she wasn't doing the job anymore."

"Oh, so how many ones have you been through?"

"Well i broke jaz's neck, stage dive gone wrong, so she had to go and then was Demi, smoking hot body, but absolutely no fun in playing her so she had to go too. Newest one is called Tammie, she's … alright not the best looker in the world but she's got soul."

I would now like to point out I'm talking about my many guitars I've had over the years. The look on the four men and red heads faces where so funny neither me nor Alex could stop from laughing. It was Kips idea to name the guitars as he had named all his basses he's had and the reactions we got where so funny we kept naming them. After explaining about that, Jack – the red head – asked me why they put me here. What a way to change the topic.

"I got arrested."

This was news to Alex, he looked that someone had told him the whole of Al Qaeda wanted to sing Christmas carols with him, do they even celebrate Christmas?

"What for?" This came from a tallish man that sounded Scottish

"Umm … well I skateboarded through a museum."

They didn't believe that by the looks of things. So I gave them the whole story.

"Well I was chasing my mate through kelvin-grove museum on a skateboard while he screamed 'the British are coming over and over again… And I was kinda wearing a knight's helmet and swinging a sword around."

They all stared in disbelief then burst out laughing, one of them was on the floor clutching his sides; I think he was the one that yelled out "so we can keep him" earlier. Alex was also shaking his head in disbelief.

"I take it this was kip's idea." he managed to get out between laughs.

"Of course it was."

My friend Kip is kinda like Alex's friend Tom only Tom knows what will get them arrested Kip has still to master that part of life. The door then rang and as everyone was still laughing I decided to get it. I was met with a glare.

"I thought I warned you about that?"

Trust my luck there on the door step was the growly guy that drove me to the bank. He shoved his way past me with a growl then started shouting varies animal names like Snake and Eagle, this day just gets weirder and weirder.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah um Review and so on<strong>


	6. yeah right and my names Chris P Bacon

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>I slowly closed the door unsure what to do the laughing had cut off and now there were was a muffled argument going on I inched closer to the kitchen. Alex was in a defensive stance – not like a boxer or anything but his fists were clenched – and the growly guy was facing him with his back to me but I could tell his arms were crossed across his chest it was like being in my aunt's house while my uncle fought with her again.<p>

"I'm not telling him he doesn't need to know" Alex was on the defense. What was Alex on about but I had a feeling the argument would be cut short if I went in so I stayed in the hall and listened.

"Surely he has a right to know pissed off terrorists might kill him instead of you or that MI6 might royally screw him over to get at you." … WTF? Alex MI6? What in the name of Bon Scott's dead carcass in a wooden box is going on?

"I with Alex on this one, I mean he just a kid he doesn't need to know that Alex runs around being a mini James Bond. He should stay innocent. Alex was his age when he started all this crap and I don't want Jay getting caught up in it." This came from the red head I mean Jack god why is it so hard to remember that. Okay two options.

One – walk in pretend you didn't just hear that your brother is working for MI6 and pass it off for nothing.

Two - Walk in there among the big scary men and ask what's going on.

Hmmm, Eeny, meeny, _miny_, _moe__ okay option two it is then. Deep breath, I walked in and everyone stared at me._

"So should I know anything while I'm here like oh I donno my brother likes running around pissing off terrorists?"

Alex went an unnatural shade of white the red head mutter something about 'must be a Rider after all' and the men look quickly at their boots. Alex stepped forward looking lost for words after a few false starts he finally got his story out. Man he could make millions from a story like that.

"So if I mention your name next time I get arrested I get off Scot- free?"

*Smack*

"Maybe not."

So I now have names for all the muscle men – well SAS code names but it's a start.

Wolf – Growly guy huh what doyah know it really kinda fits

Snake – fellow scots man and a certified worrywart

Fox – was SAS went to MI6 now contemplating returning to MI6

Eagle – the idiot who shouted 'so we can keep him' and was on the floor laughing I've been warned if I value my life don't give him sugar or caffeine, I think I might pull a kip on that one.

Raven – the quite one in the corner who keep looking at his shoes. I think he has a boot fetish.

They're all here cuz their on leave and wanted to surprise Alex, and they wanted to raid his beer and food supplies… damn poachers stole my idea.

"So where am I going to sleep?"

"Shit, anyone fancy a trip to Ikea?"

* * *

><p><strong>Review and all that, sorry to anyone who gets the Bon Scott thing no offence meant<strong>


	7. Narnia this way !

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters. mistake in the last chapter Fox was in fact contemplating returning to the SAS not MI6. sorry**. **Ikea is a large furniture/home depo store.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Okay so everyone's now standing in front of Ikea all animal, humans and Toms alike. Tom showed up as we were getting in cars and despite the SAS men's pleas I dragged him along.<p>

"Okay let's get in and out before Tom can do anything." Ahhh typical SAS men with the plan only jack had a different idea.

"No we've got to look around ohh I wonder if they sell cheese graters here we need a new one Alex used the old one on that burglar last month."

"There was nothing else lying around it's not my fault."

"Mmmm I love the taste of human on my stilton."

"TOM SHUT UP!" wow and who said that MI6 and the SAS couldn't get along.

So we've been in the store 20 min and are only just looking a pillows we have walked about 2 metres from the door.

"Hey jack would you go quicker if we left you?"

"Yes but I wouldn't know what you like."

"Just get me something Alex would like unless its pink or has unicorns on it. Anyhowz who wants to play hide and seek?"

Tom looked like someone told him he could blow up the school with the chemical of his choice, Alex just smiled and the men look unsure, well apart from the Eagle guy who was almost as excited as Tom

"Can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we?"

Oh god Tom and Eagle are asking in unison this is bad yet good at the same time. This is why I'm walking around a store trying to work out where a bunch of older SAS/MI6 people would hide. I found Snake first he was lying under a bed then I found fox he was being told off for hiding in a wardrobe by an older lady, she stated that even he should know that the wardrobe wouldn't lead to Narnia at his age … and yes I did get pictures.

Tom was hiding on a top shelf in a metal washing basket we know this as it sneezed and then plummeted to the floor and said something about raspberry deep-fried chipmunks. A small child started crying and tried to comfort the hurt basket which then yelled I'll eat your teddy bear. Said child screamed and ran away.

Raven was hiding inside a rolled up carpet now that was impressive and Eagle was hiding in a box with a picture of an Eagle on it, uhuh not obvious at all.

It took me ages to find wolf and Alex, Wolf was sitting inside a fridge which meant tom got a slap from everyone when he said 'That's so cool' now Alex that was another game altogether we all had to pull together to get him he was hiding behind a large potted plastic plant it took us 10 minutes to find him at which point Jack caught up with us and told us we has been asked to leave but she had managed to get all the stuff we 'needed'. Needless to say everyone was grinning like crazy when we left. Tom then felt the need to surf in a trolley and crashed into Wolf's car. We all watched as Wolf chased tom shouting 'this is war Harris' over and over again.

* * *

><p><strong>Review and all that, Thanks, any ideas welcome.<strong>


	8. Evil Scotsman

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex rider or any other Characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Tom's still in one piece, just. He's got a black eye cuz he ran into a well-placed child who was playing power rangers. We're now eating Chinese in front of the TV we're watching the X factor… yeah Alex let Jack chose. She muted the TV for the advert brake and there was an awkward silence that's when my phone started going off. I lost a bet and kip chose my ringtone... He then locked it onto the tone.<p>

**if ****you're**** looking for trouble,****  
><strong>**You're**** in the right place,****  
><strong>**Don't look at me like that, or ****I'll****head-butt**** your face**

SHIT! I couldn't find my phone.

**I'm**** a mean motherfucker,**

It wasn't on the side of the couch where I left it. I'm now diving over the side trying to find it with no help from anyone.

**i was born that way,****  
><strong>**and just because i wear a skirt don't think ****I'm**** fuckin' gay.**

I hate Kip! Tom and Eagle were laughing their asses off and I was on hands and knees looking under the couch. Aha, bingo I grabbed it but not before the chorus got out,

**Cause ****I'm**** an evil ****Scotsman****,****  
><strong>**and Jimmy is my name,****  
><strong>**I'm**** a sheep shagger from Aberdeen,****  
><strong>**and causing pain**** is m…**

"Hello" Now everyone was on the ground laughing I quickly moved to the window to get better signal and so I had my back to them.

"_Jay my dawg how's it going"_

"Hey Kip! I'm good what you doing?"

"_Not much just wonder where the** fuck my best mate is seeing as he was meant to be at the gig we're playing for tonight you know Create the youth club … ring any bells?**"_

"Shit I totally forgot I'm in Chelsea so yeah um sorry."

"_Yeah that's what I thought you lousy, wait what in the name of Jesus' favourite beer bong are you on about you live in **Glasgow** you know** Scotland**. Why are you in London?" _

"Listen I got put in with my brother for a while till my aunt calms down from that museum stunt okay. I'll explain later tell the guys I'm sorry about the gig and the next bottle of Strongbow's on me. talk later bye."

I hung up before he got back to his normal self. I turned to the group behind me and gave them a shit-eating grin.

"so any chance you could just remove the last 3 minutes from your brains?"

The looks on their faces told me no.

"Next bottle of Strongbow huh? You drink a lot?"

"Gig you play in a band?"

"Nice ringtone Jay"

Well I'm officially screwed.

* * *

><p><strong>review! ideas welcome, i think its time i introduce you to kip :) tune is Evil Scotsman by Billy Connelly :)<strong>


	9. Nice and Slowly

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>So that was our Saturday, Sunday went by without any problems except from when Eagle managed to make some ice cubes explode, don't ask. Tomorrow's Monday which means Alex goes to school and I get to lie in, you know I might get up early and sit in my and watch him leave … yeah that's a plan. Jack was going to bed early and K unitmuscle men decided they were going to crash in the living room when they got tired.

"Alex don't stay up too late you have school tomorrow." I gave Alex my best wayyyy-I-don't-have-to-do-that grin. Jack was half way up the stairs when we heard her call:

"Oh Jay before I forget I'm taking you into Alex's school tomorrow so you can enroll so bed early for you too. Night guys."

Alex and the muscle men all burst out laughing. Life just loves to contradict me.

"Yeah well your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Eagle then stopped laughing altogether and placed one of his hands on Alex's chest and the other on Fox's chest, like when you stop someone from walking when you have a really bright idea. Then he grinned evilly.

"Hey wolf" He called "Jay said your mother's beds real cold."

Oh crap. Wolf turned and glared at me.

"Yeah maybe you should get her some electric blankets or something."

Wtf! did I just say that. Fuck I'm so dead. Everyone looked at me like I'd punched the Queen in the face then danced in front of Prince Charles with my hands behind my ears like an elephant and for the finale said Pippa Middleton's ass was saggy.

I only made it to the door 4 steps away before he dived on top of me. But then he realised punching me wasn't going to work as Alex was there but just to be sure I went to escape plan number 15 on the list of **escapes-essential-for-being-around-kip** yeah even his parents abide by it. This basically consists of me screaming 'RAPE!' and running. Said plan worked as wolf jumped off me but I ran straight into Raven, who for once wasn't looking at his boots, who quickly shoved me into Fox, Alex and Eagle and we all ended up on the floor. Snake then walked in tripping up over us all and landed on top. Wolf tackled Raven on top of Snake who spilt his tea – somehow he hadn't beforehand - all over Eagle who screamed like a girl. That was when they realised we weren't alone.

"This is the most queers in a room I've ever seen at one time."

Everyone quickly looked up to a Scottish teenage voice of a 5ft 6" brown haired intruder. And then proceeded to jump to their feet.

"Um Kip it's not that I'm not happy to see you, but how do you know where I live? And how did you get in."

"Contacts my young Padawan contacts. And I picked the lock… yeah I think you should get a more secure one on second thoughts don't then I can get in easier." Then he gave me the evil i-have-a-kickass-plan look he gets every second day or so.

"Okay everyone just back away slowly." Surprisingly everyone did so inching to wards the kitchen. "That's it nice and slowly."

* * *

><p><strong>Review for any ideas please hitting a brick wall here i think.<strong>


	10. Do it or Die!

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Okay so Kip isn't a crazy stalker. His dad, Pete, was on a business meeting but had some down time in the afternoon so took Kip along so he can see the Sites. He's picking Kip up in 2 hours, that 1 hour 50 minutes too late. The Muscle men were backed right up against the far side of the kitchen Alex was about a metre in front of them but still behind me.<p>

"Okay stop looking at me like a terrorist people."

"Kip I seemed to remember you blew up the bike shed using nothing but a lighter, deodorant and a roll of sellotape so I think you can be classed as a terrorist."

"Am I not worthy of an introduction?"

"Oh right, this" I gestured to Alex "is my older brother Alex and the five guys behind him are the mighty muscle men crew."

K unit and the Foxy MI6 guy didn't seemed impressed with their group name. Kip looked them over carefully nodding to himself. He doesn't realise how crazy he looks when he does that but everyone else did as they all took a step back.

"I just wanted to see if anyone was up for a little game."

So this is why we're all watching as Fox and Eagle are sprinting down the street in their boxers. Kip suggested a game of Do it or Die. Basically you get given a dare and if you don't do it there's a forfeit which is usually worse than the dare.

Wolf danced up to Jack's room and managed to dance right beside her head without her waking up. Raven sat in the middle of the road for ten minutes and whenever a car past the screamed I don't want to die.

Alex and me got given a bag of flour each and a couple of eggs and a wooden spoon and where told to make cake mixture in the neighbours bird bath. Never a good idea the poor dear almost fainted when I said if any bird landed in the mixture they would be baked alive.

Fox got dared to race Eagle down the street in their boxers sadly neither of them noticed the police car coming around the corner. So to cut the story short Eagle and Fox got arrested for some disgrace of the public law and Wolf got arrested for swearing repeatedly at the police, we got photos. So Snake and Raven quickly left to bail them out. They forgot their clothes.

Jack had woken up to the commotion and after given a quick explanation muttered something about 'blood MI6 and Army idiots trusting our country to these freaks' and when back to bed at which point Kip's dad turned up and dragged him away yelling something about meeting places.

"So Alex, if this is life without any terrorist how in why in hells name do you do it?"

I got the Rider glare and quickly decided to shut up. So I've got the lovely joy of attending Brookland Comprehensive School tomorrow yeahy! Whoop whoop to be honest I think it won't be that bad Alex probably has lots of friends and I'll meet some new people that don't blow shit up for fun. Right? Oh well Kip decided to text me this just before I went to sleep.

Can I bring the guys down next weekend we found a cheap train down and we won't even be too loud I mean it will be like we aren't even there. Oh yeah you have no say cya next week :P.

This Week just gets better and better.

* * *

><p><strong>Review if you can. Thanks to Kitchila77 glad you like it.<strong>


	11. I know where you live

**Disclaimer i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Okay child services officially suck I don't have any yet clothes so I'm wearing one of Alex's spares uniforms it's too freaking big! To make it even worse I slept like an alien on crack, yeah I'm guessing they don't sleep. Alex's coffee machine broke and Jack was in a pissy mood so didn't stop and get us any on the way to school. I can function without coffee in the morning but Alex can't he had that unless-you-have-some-goddam-coffee-stay-the-hell-outta-my-way look that Ian got, he really didn't teach Alex any manners.<p>

It got even worse when we arrived at the school turns out child services already enrolled me so I was straight to class. This would be okay until my first period teacher asked me to introduce myself to the class which went like this.

"My names Jay Rider," I only made it that far before they started muttering usually that only starts when I mention that I like to kill small animals and turn them into puppets with my imaginary friend.

"Wait like as in Alex Rider?"

"Um, yeah he's my brother."

There was more murmuring from them. I chose that moment to go sit there was a seat up the back which I claimed quickly. Turns out I've covered some of this work before so I just rewrote the essay I did in my old school. Class finished and I then had the trouble of finding my next class but I got interrupted well technically someone slapped my map out my hands. It was two older people I've never seen before… I hate it when this happens.

"Oh I'm so sorry I have appeared to knock my timetable into your hand which has then ended up on the floor."

"Your brothers a druggie freak."

"Huh?"

I then walked off in search of art but I didn't get too far. I was spun around to face these two jerks.

"Listen guys I just don't swing that way okay I'm sure there's someone out there for you but you have to leave me alone."

That got a few laughs from the crowd. That got him really mad he tried to throw a punch which I dodged and swiped his feet away from him. What can I say Alex suggested it one year and Kip already did Karate but that's another story altogether. Then his mate tried the same move so I did the same move. I'm now standing over them when I decide to throw in a tribute to Kip. I did my best evil-pycho look and started in a heavy Glasgow accent

"I know where you live and if you or anyone you know insults me or my brother again I'll hunt you down and make you regret the day your dad didn't turn on the light when he was getting real friendly with your mum."

Then I gave them i-shit-you-not look and smiled. Then the bell went before I could turn round and yell 'boo' at them to scare them. I was five minutes late to art but it was worth it.

* * *

><p><strong>Review if you can glad to hear people are enjoying it:)<strong>


	12. Freedom!

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters. just Kip and Jay :)**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Chemistry now there's a fun subject. Lots of chemicals lying around and teachers too tired from stuffy conditions to pay attention. Turns out I insulted the Mr big cheese of the 'badass' team before art and he was out for blood. This means I have some of his minions in my chemistry class that just silently volunteered to be my test subjects. Good times. Nothing I love more that adding a large lump of lithium to water under a subject's seat and waiting for the bang.<p>

I don't understand why I was sent to the head teacher's office there was no harm done. Well okay the seat melted a bit and my test subject screamed like a girl but at least I was decent enough not to film it. Yeah okay so I had some other people film it but still technically it wasn't me. I got the standard this-isn't-your-old-school-don't-do-it-again chat and sent on to music which was fun. Nothing makes you happier than I test on your first day that counts for like 20% of your grade. Good job I've done it already and I'm pretty sure I aced it. Maybe I shouldn't have drawn the giraffe for extra credit but hey it's worked before.

The rest of the day was boring up until the end bell, luckily for me the 'badass' team seem to work out of school hours. Turns out you can get suspended on your first day. A free-for-all in the school grounds probably wasn't the best idea but hey me, Alex and Tom kicked ass right up until I jumped on a car and stage dived onto the crowd/fight below.

Yeah screaming 'they may take our lives but they will never take our FREEDOM' to the group of teachers that were watching wasn't a good idea as i was the only one who got caught.

Jack was pretty cool about it and I get a week off school which I'm pretty sure Kip would be proud of me but I'm never gonna bet his record I'm not sure how but he got suspended within an hour. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with the box of chickens he brought in with him. Alex was happy he finally got to hit someone that isn't a terrorist but he got a weird phone call and left for a bank right after we got home. Jack didn't seem happy so I'm guessing it was to do with MI6. I'll make pancakes for when he gets back.

"Hey Alex if your wanting pancakes they're attached to the ceiling just peel them off they're cooked but just a little sticky."

Sadly Alex didn't enjoy the pancakes as one fell on his head when he walked into the kitchen so I had to scrape the ceiling clean but I kinda blew up the light while I was at it. I don't think Alex or Jack will notice I sellotaped it back together it's just not letting any light out. Ill fix it tomorrow, or whenever one of them gets electrocuted.

* * *

><p><strong>Review if you feel like it. let me know if the chapters are getting worse as they go on i have a feeling they are.<strong>


	13. Lights out ! reloaded

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other Characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Okay real reason Alex was in a pissy mood about the pancakes is that apparently some terrorists are after his blood. Oft nothing says I love you like a nice death threat. So the Mighty Muscle Men (triple M crew) and Foxy MI6 dude are coming around to 'protect' us. Really I think if they just gave us a flamethrower and a machine gun Alex could do all this without the triple M crew. Oh yeah and they kicked Jack off to America till the threat has been naturalised. That got Alex and Jack real pissed so pissed that I forgot to fix the kitchen light as I tried to avoid them. Jack left just as the Triple M crew showed up. Alex had a quick – I mean real quick – chat with them.<p>

"No I'm not telling you how or why so don't ask."

Then he went off to his room. The Triple M crew looked at me pointly. Yeah sure I'll clean up their mess but why not have a little fun while I'm at it.

"Fine I'll talk to him but whatever you do don't touch the kitchen light switch."

Alex's room is the first on the right so he hears everyone that comes up the stairs. I'm a little brother so I'm allowed to be annoying which means I busted into his room without knocking. He didn't look too pissed when he realised it was me. He relaxed and sat back down on the bed.

"So wanna tell me about that little outburst man?"

Alex stared at me for a while.

"They won't leave me alone, I don't want to talk about my missions and they don't understand that I don't want to relive them every time I tell them about. Anyway they'd just laugh and make fun of how I do things."

Okay not what I was expecting I was hoping for a 'piss off' or 'leave me alone'.

"you know sometimes it helps I'm just saying that maybe telling them might make you feel more at peace you don't have to tell them everything just the main parts if you get what I mean."

Alex smiled sadly at that. God he was stubborn. This was the moment when the lights and all electronic stuff cut out. That means someone touched the light switch sadly Alex panicked and dove for the floor pulling me with him. I burst out laughing at his face when no bullets or bombs where seen. I scrambled to my feet and dragged him downstairs. Wolf was lying on the floor surrounded by the triple M crew. It seemed quite serious until wolf muttered something about "bunnies and sarge in a frock." Needless to say everyone laughed and Wolf slowly became aware of what happened.

"I told you not to touch the light switch didn't I?"

Sadly wolf didn't seem to agree as he made a movement to jump at me. Yeah it turns out that being electrocuted doesn't help you out too much as he face-planted by my feet. Although my escape was hindered by having to laugh at him. This is when the gun men decided to shoot up the kitchen I remember hitting the floor and the last of the pancakes land in front of me. Well this sucks.

* * *

><p><strong>Review if you can be bother.<strong>


	14. GoatBoy says die

**Disclaimer - i don not own Alex Rider or any other Characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Picture this you feel like your waking up from the best sleep ever and all you can hear is someone screaming 'answer me!' over and over again. Yeah welcome to my reality. Fortunately the slapping noise is from a hand connecting to Alex's face repeatedly. Hey I'm just saying I'm glad it's not me.<p>

(Me + the Triple M crew + Foxy MI6 guy x (all tied to chairs)) + ((Alex suspended from ceiling X 5 angry terrorists) + man in a suit) = holy mother of crap we're gonna die!

Sadly Eagle made the mistake of asking 'who are you' so we got the whole speech.

"I was raised in a minefield by goats with webbed feet thrown out by their own herd ... blah blah blah

They called me goat-boy and sent me to school in the local village … blah blah blah

American aid workers turned me away… blah blah blah"

Yeah well that's what I heard.

After the story they left to go find the coffee machine and discuss a better plan to make Alex talk. The Triple M crew pulled at the ropes and Foxy MI6 guy was talking to Alex. I started humming Bright side of life, everyone seemed a little down. Apparently I was wrong as everyone glared at me so I quickly changed plans

"So they always blurt out their life stories like that?"

Alex and Foxy MI6 guy nodded slowly.

"It gets worse the closer to Asia you get." Alex said

"I hear you bruv" Stated Foxy MI6 guy.

"Did Fox just go all gangsta on us?"

"What hood did you come from Foxy?"

Sadly our 'Bantered' was interrupted by crazy mad evil dude with gun

"Now I will kill you until you die from it, Alex Rider."

Sadly I found this too funny not to go unmentioned.

"First guy to die loses."

Alex and Evil goat-boy looked at me then took it a tad too seriously as they then commenced fighting like Cage fighters.

"Ten on the teenager"

"No ten on the boss"

"Ten on Alex"

Fortunately S.W.A.T jumped in and stopped Alex from taking a poker to the chin and delivering a chimney brush to the gut of goat-boy.

"Wait who won the bet?"

oh yeah I really gotta pee.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay attention all people who care. im going on holiday next week so this is going to be the last update in a little while. At least till next monday.<strong>


	15. Gravity still works

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other characters.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>So we're all sitting outside the house watching Raven get patched up apparently for him dodging bullets is like suggesting the SAS wearing high heels and walk away : you just can't do it.<p>

So after the medics dragged him off to hospital, despite his pleas that he was fine and he could just sleep it off, the mighty muscle crew and Alex turn their attention to me.

"So how did I end up tied to that chair? I don't remember" I asked trying to get them to stop staring at me. It failed. They just started laughing at me

"Dude you feel over and then the pancake plate landed on your head" howled snake through his barking laugh

"I didn't trip I was testing gravity"

"Yeah right" said Wolf

"Hey I can conclude that it still works." I said and Eagle burst out laughing

"Eagle your like 24 stop acting like a teenager" Snake said then glared at him

"Hey growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional."

"EAGLE!" everyone moaned accompanied by a couple of face palms.

At this point they started on Alex

"So how come he came after you what did you do wrong in your life to get on his bad side?" asked Snake

"Life is a test and I guess I didn't take good notes?" Alex asked doing his best Eagle impression

"Eagle if you can't be a good example at least try to be an excellent warning." Wolf said after a couple of more face palms.

"Hey what can I say it's not my fault that the kid idolises meeeeee hey wait! what?"

Man everyone heads are getting red from the repeated face palms. Eagle then tried to pounce on wolf after he worked out what he meant. At which point the MI6 people turned up. Everyone stopped and stared at them. Yeah well Wolf and Eagle might have continued to roll around but they got up very quickly all of a sudden I guess they smelt the mint from the MI6 lady. And then Jack appeared and started cussing out the MI6 people with language that would make Satan jealous. I sat down next to Fox and watched in amazement as the MI6 people tried to get a word in around Jack. This is gonna be a long night.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah sorry this took so long to get up sorta lost my style for a while. review and let me know how its doing :) <strong>


	16. No hablo ingles

**Disclaimer - i don not own Alex Rider or any other Characters**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>So after Jack put Satan to shame MI6 dragging us all off to camp something another for extraordinary boy scouts or something along those lines. Alex and Jack seemed … well pissed. After a few barked commands MI6 dragged Alex and Jack into a van and the Mighty Muscle Crew jumped in after them with no instructions and I was left standing on the pavement so I turned to go back to the house. Sadly hell have no fury like a woman scorned so Jack jumped out of the van and pulled me in after her. Fun times.<p>

We eventually got to the camp after a couple of Eagle smack downs and Wolf yelling "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid." At Eagle.

Yeah it turns out everyone at this camp is named after animals.

The sergeant told Alex he would train with the triple M crew and Jack would help in the kitchen. He took one look at me and said "shadow K unit but you're not to do any training. Oh Yeah I have to call Alex 'Cub'.

This meant while Jack cooked and Alex trained, I was left to my own devices. Sadly after two hours I turned into David Attenbourgh.

"We can clearly see how the mother Wolf carries the food for her young cub."

Wolf glared at me.

"And the fox quickly darts for cover from its distant relative at the first sight of distress."

"We also see how happy the snake is in it home environment but will soon fall prey to a very retarded Eagle."

"Who said I was retarded?"

"Eagle a wise man once told me 'There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.'"

"HEY!"

Alex smile and continued training quietly without questioning my weird behaviour. Sadly the sergeant seemed to notice and had me dragged off to the infirmary for a while till I convinced them I wasn't crazy but I'm guessing I was only there that long cuz I was singing the periodic table song … what can I say its catchy. Eagle Alex/Cub Wolf and Fox came to my rescues eventually.

"so you getting a psychiatrist?" Fox asked

"I've already got one and after years of therapy my psychiatrist finally said something that brought tears to my eyes."

"What did he say?"

"He said, "No hablo ingles."

Wolf just smiled and shook his head

"I'm getting too old for this shit"

* * *

><p><strong>Review please :) ill be going on holiday again so not really gonna be any updates from the start - middle of august.<strong>


	17. Am other man's shoes

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other characters but Jay's all mine.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Wolf was screaming himself purple. The rest Mighty Muscle Crew were looking at the floor and Alex aka Cub was looking at the wall behind his head Jack was chewing at her nails. We had been ordered to mop our hut but me and Alex turned it into a full scale water fight. Wolf had returned from talking to the sarge just as Fox threw the bucket containing dirty water all over him. So now we were all getting lectured<p>

"Hey wolf?" I interrupted, "Can I leave now?" Everyone stared at me.

"If you can spell my first name you can!"

"Okay capital W, um … a, n, k, I no no, not I, e, r." then I ran.

"JAYYYYYY!"

"Run Jay Run!" Jack screamed sadly I slipped in the muddy puddle and landed at the feet of L unit they're like K unit only don't tolerate kids and women screwing around in the camp.

"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order and you know you make up most of it."

"What hydrogen" wolf asked as he caught up looking confused at L unit.

"Nope Stupidity." I am pleased to tell you I made a new record on the assault course closely followed by L unit who all made a new personal best. Unfortunately I ran outta beams to jump over and was caught right in front of the sergeant's hut. So when I started screaming Rape he jumped out and Floored Badger L unit's leader faster than you could say Japanese Yeti. L unit ran off and the sergeant sat me down to give me some advice.

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." He smiled and walked out the room Wolf then dumped a bucket of cold water over me. Ahhh I love my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry its been so long my dads been a computer hog :D but ill try to make up for it. Enjoy and Review it will make me write faster.<strong>


	18. when I rule the world

**Disclaimer - i do not own Alex Rider or any other recognisable characters. **

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>"Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! An alcoholic and a racist!"<p>

Yeah someone sent Jack a copy of Heat. Now she's 'updating' me on all the going ons in the world. who would think i would envy Eagle at this point. Welcome to day 8 in hell. Fortunately some American soldiers are coming for a "tactical information gathering and advice sharing meeting" basically the sergeant wanted someone who the mighty muscle crew could beat up and show how awesome they were.

This meant new blood for me! They arrived in two Humvees and 9 bulky men climbed out. K unit and L unit were meant to be there to 'greet' them but they were on a team hike that got prolong due to bad weather so I was dragged along by the sergeant on the fact he thinks that I'm like K unit mixed into one without the muscle .

Sadly the first thing they all noticed was me. 7 of them all started complaining to a tall man wearing some form of badge apart from one who nodded to me, I'll call him Noddy.

Their boss yelled attention and everyone jumped to it apart from me. The tall man glared at me but I ignored him. It was time for me to reveal my A game. I looked at Noddy and said in a monotone voice

"I like you, when I rule the world your death will be quick and painless."

Now they all looked pissed without another word I walked off towards the shooting range. The SAS sergeant all motioned for them to enter his hut and they did with a nod from their captain. I arrived at the shooting range and watched as J unit shot at the faceless targets and eventually when my presence became notice they all swore loudly. What can I say I was there for like 10 minutes.

Then Jaguar –who is a lot like Eagle – announced that this was going on Facebook.

"You know FACEBOOK is the second most popular word that starts with 'F' and ends with 'K' " I said and they all cracked up with laughter just as the Americans walked in with their Captain. They all glared at me and picked up some guns at started shooting at the targets. We all watched them shot for a while and after 5 minutes Wolf and Eagle walked in and started arguing with one of the American soldiers. The American soldiers all stepped up to the mark. I felt an evil "Kip smirk" spread across my face.

"Hey Eagle? Wolf?" I said softly they looked around and so did the American soldiers. "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." It took a while for it to click but by then I was sprinting out the door towards the kitchen, it would be the last place they looked seeing as I was a guy and didn't know how to make sandwiches.

* * *

><p><strong>Review my pretties :) please im thinking some Kip in the next chapter whos with me? <strong>


	19. Bad beating

**Disclaimer - I dont own anything you recognise.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Guess I can't run as fast as I thought I could. If I could tell you I remember what happened after I sprinted for the kitchen I would be lying. I woke up lying in the mud which had turned a nice colour of maroon brown due to that nice big cut on my head. My ribs were smarting and my lip was bust and swollen. Alex was gonna flip. I pulled myself outta the grime and limped back to K unit's hut trying to prolong the freak-out. I slipped the door open and thankfully none of K unit looked up … but Jack did.<p>

"OH MY MOTHER LORD OF BHUDDA!"

Yup that got everyone's attention. Alex looked like he was gonna burst that vein in his forehead. Wolf was cracking his knuckles, Jack looked … well like a pissed off redhead. Snake was pulling stuff outta a first aid bag and Eagle was too quiet. Way to quiet. This was gonna end bad.

Snake gave me a 'quick' check over. I ended up with bandages and plasters everywhere. Eagle still hadn't said anything. Alex and Wolf were muttering in the corner. Jack then did the 'tell me did it and I won't lay a finger on them but as soon as your asleep I will mercilessly kill them in their sleep' routine. To be honest I didn't care I had a headache the size of china's population. So after I admitted it was the American troops Wolf, Alex, Snake and jack all stormed for the door and only then did Eagle speak.

"Wait. We need a plan"

After an hour of pouring their deadliest ideas out they had a plan fit for a terrorist … Or a squadron of American soldiers. Proceed forward with evil smirks and pyramids of evil hands. It's not gonna be pretty I can tell you now: Superglue, feathers, camera, ink, spades, water, assault course, L unit and the Sargent to name but a few. This is ganna be bad

* * *

><p><strong>sorry it's been a while ... yeah i have no excuses.<strong>


	20. Pink Chickens

**If i owned Alex or K unit i wouldn't be wasting time sitting my standard grades.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Alex was determined that I wasn't going be part of this plan but once my headache cleared thanks to modern medicine (high class painkillers that only SAS soldiers have) I was ready to go.<p>

"Eagle this is absurd! It's evil! This is a new low for you!" cried Fox as he finished tying the last rope to the assault course.

"No it's not,you just want to think that it is so you can tell the sergeant you tried to reason with us." Eagle said as he swung down from the watchtower."And if you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before so hey ho."

Fox shuffled from foot to foot while everyone laughed.

"How did you know?" he moaned

"Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again; I'm not letting you give me all the blame for this one! Okay Cub go get the enemy and lead the to the start of the course." And with that Alex was gone. "Everyone get to their positions and make sure you walkie talkies are turned on." That left me standing at the end with a camera to take a finish line shoot of some soon to be very confused Americans.

About two minutes later Alex sprinted round the corner with a herd of Americans on his tail screaming "your dead kid, dead!" Alex grabbed a well place rope and shot over the tripwire. 'sadly' the Americans didn't they hit the modified assault course which was basically a slide covered in mud and washing up liquid and slid down into the super glue.

Jack and Alex - who had climbed up the rope - then dropped the feathers onto them as the slid past yelling (reads screaming) their heads off. They then fell off the slide into the pink ink Eagle and Snake had found/made ... we're not really sure to be honest. So now they resembled pink chickens and now the finally that Wolf was conducting, a net hoisted them out to the pink ink and raised them into the air and they were then lowered into a … Cage ? What the hell how did that get there? Well anyway L unit jumped out of a bush and started playing some heavy dub step music whilst jabbing sharp sticks in the bottom of the cage making them jump around like they were dancing.

And I had it all on film.

Sadly this is when the triple M crew's Big cheese showed up, that's the sergeant for anyone who doesn't get how it works and just stared for a while then he started to sway then he sat down on a well placed rock with his head in his hands and his shoulders started to shake and let out high pitched noises. Everyone was instantly silent and stared at him although I had a funny feeling that the Americans mouths were glued shut. Then he fell on the floor and started full out laughing, tears rolling down his face. After about half an hour he calmed down "why don't you guys head and get some grub I'll clean up here."

Eagle looked worried "What about the consequences you know like how every time you play hangman a stick man family is left without a father."

The sergeant just smiled and looked at the Americans flailing around in the cage "I'll clean up here go get some food."

* * *

><p><strong>I know it has been a while … I got grounded for drinking – I would like to point out I wasn't drunk but my friend needed to go to hospital- she's all better so yeah I won't be doing that again. So I'm gonna make I promise I've got prelims for the next two weeks but after that I will try to upload once a week. and if not and you actually care about this story feel free to hunt me down.<strong>


	21. Hurt

**Disclaimer - we've been through this i only own Jay. Okay some brother love up ahead nothing weird.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>I don't think it was really fair I got beaten up by like 7 American soldiers who get off scot-free but when we take revenge the sergeant kicks us out of camp because the men upstairs needed this 'tactical information gathering and advice sharing meeting' thing to work and as K unit, Jack and me aren't going to make that happen we're finally being sent home.<p>

When we finally arrived home Eagle was duct-taped, tied up and hanging upside down from the inside of the roof of the van … the scary thing was that Wolf was driving. Well Raven – yah'll remember him don't yah? He was waiting on us as the van pulled up. Well yeah he took one look at Eagle and just poked him with his crutches to 'check he was still breathing'.

Fox and Snake carried Eagle in as he was still bound and gagged and lay him down on the floor next to the couch and let Raven use him as a foot rest for his sore leg. I was only going to cut him free and don't understand why they all got so jumpy when I came through with a knife … okay so maybe I wasn't the best idea to brandish the carving knife quite like that while laughing at Jack's singing while walking into the room .

Due to the triple M crew being at the house me and Alex ended up bunking together. I was lying on the floor with my duvet while he was reading a book in bed.

"Hey Alex?"

"Yeah?" he didn't even look up from his book.

"What was ASH like?" I asked leaning on one of my hands. We hadn't really talked about him and we missed the funeral due to goat boy.

Alex went quiet and looked at me like he was not sure what to tell me and he seemed upset. Maybe him and ASH were close or something. The silence was punctuated by Jack calling for lights to be turned out and Eagle to shut up. Then he finally spoke.

"You know when you think you can trust someone and it turns out they've done something really bad?"

"Yeah" I replied unsure of where this was going.

"Well ASH, he was the one that hurt mum and dad; they trusted him and he planted a bomb on the plane."

I looked up at Alex, he looked close to tears. Then it hit me Alex had been hurt by so many people, I climbed up on to his bed and gave him a hug nothing to weird or freaky just a brotherly hug to cheer him up. That didn't fully cheer him up so I went for plan 2.

"You know if Aunt Anna once told me that Ian turned up at our house once wearing a cocktail dress and had a clutch bag. Make up and all" I said as I swapped ends of the bed so we were now heads and tails-ing it. He laughed and shook his head like he couldn't believe it. Well it's going to be Christmas in one week so I know what photo he's getting for a present.

"you know I almost feel normal right now." He said smiling at me.

There was a muffled thud then "EAGLE!" yup things were never going to be normal around here.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Review pretty please i need some feedback on this cuz i have no idea what im doing. P<strong>relims are over people that means im all yours till next easter-ish i think. im going to try write a christmas special for yah'll before next week. :) .**_  
><em>


	22. Eagles roasting on a open fire

**Disclaimer - I own nada - unless you count Jay or Raven as something.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>We spent the whole day making the house ready for Christmas. The tree was up and decorated and all the presents were wrapped and placed under the tree. K unit has arrived for Christmas Eve takeaway that Jack had 'made'. K unit were watching some American hockey game and Jack sitting with a bottle of white wine screaming insults at the hockey players. Alex was lounging on a sofa laughing as K unit visibly jumped when Jack screamed when one of the Hanson brothers scored a goal in the last second and did a victory dance. Jack then collected herself and turned off the TV. And smiled at Eagle, who had been dumb enough to bet against Jack's team,<p>

"Pay up Birdbrain." She said holding out her hand making a gimme jester with it.

"Why bother paying you when I'm going to win it back later." Eagle sulked shoving Alex's feet out the road so he could sit on the couch only to have Alex kick him onto the floor again.

"Why bother wiping every time you go to the toilet if you're going to go again later."

"Touché, Jack touché you may have win the war but you haven't won the battle."

"Hey isn't it 'you may have won the battle but not the war'" Fox asked slightly confused.

"Actually It came from what Hannibal's brother Hamilcar said about him: 'Hannibal knew how to gain victory, but not how to use.' Eventually it changed to the phrase 'you may have won the battle, but you have not won the war.'" Raven recited while picking at his thumb nail. Everyone just stared at him quietly "what?" "well that's the most we've ever heard you say in one go," Wolf said "including the time you had a rant about Snake almost blowing you up with a grenade," 'Hey I said I was sorry' "You only used 20 words then you just used about 40 there." Eagle looked on proudly "Our little Raven's all grown up" then he pretended to burst into tears hugging Snake as his shoulders shook, only to stop when Raven hit him with his crutches.

"Santa won't come if you guys keep fighting" Alex called from the couch lazily. Yeah that's the only reason they're here. Jack said they could only stay if Alex kept them under control. I don't really think that was going to work seeing as Eagle was sticking his head up the chimney somehow he didn't realise that the fire was lit

"How does Santa fit his fat ass down here anyway?" then proceeded to scream as his trousers started to melt. Never wear polyester around fire children. K unit just laughed as Jack poured some of her white wine onto his trousers to cool them down. Eagle looked down at the new hole in his trousers on the inside on his thigh and sighed "well at least there'll be easy access to something … like the pocket in my boxers." Then he walked off to get a 'hard earned beer' from the fridge.

* * *

><p><strong>yeah i don't think this one's as good but hey ho IT'S CHRISTMAS! Be nice and review i know how many are reading this story and not review ... so give me a little Christmas present please.<strong>


	23. Suprise!

**Disclaimer - yada yada i own nada.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>We had all gone to bed early because Santa was coming … yeah Eagle still believes in Santa and insisted that we all go to bed before midnight. I had somehow managed to keep my room this time round, the might muscle men were sleeping in the spare room and Uncle Ian's old room. But I unlike Eagle – who's snores could be heard from down the hall couldn't sleep – couldn't sleep. I had counted to 100 sheep jumping over fences, 32 men 1 man and his dog mowing a meadow and 99 bottle of beer on a wall and nada.<p>

This was why I was eating Santa's milk and cookies. It's only fair I mean Eagle and Raven did put out what was left of _my_ cookies. I looked out the window in the kitchen, watching the moon fight past the clouds only to see something moving in the corner of the garden.

It took me a while to find and capture it but I know it would be worth it. Cue evil grin and silent stealth wrapping and hole punching at 2 o'clock in the morning. I slept well after my plan was carried out boy would they be surprised.

I was woken by Eagle, Raven and Foxy-loxy (who claimed he was force) jumping up and down on my bed. With a couple of well-placed kicks I managed to get them off me and ran downstairs to watch them open my present. When I got downstairs Alex was trying to convince Jack not to call the police because she was sure someone broke in, ate the cookies and drank the milk because Santa doesn't exist. Wolf was drinking from the coffee pot like it was a cup of tea and glaring at the presents muttering something about stupid Christmas spirit.

I scrambled over the back of the couch while Fox, Eagle and Raven jumped over the coffee table and bounced onto the couch that wolf was sitting on. Eventually Alex convinced Jack to come and join us and said we could start opening presents. Jack got a Lady gaga Cd from K unit and Alex got a top that had "Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?" printed on it- much to Jack dislike. I got a top that said "It's not a threat, it's a promise." printed on it.

K unit got different patterned socks from Alex – prefect for wearing on long hikes, a book of cooking for dummies. Then they went to open my present. I grinned as Eagle and Raven opened the box. By this point Wolf moved to the edge of the seat to try see into the box. Eagle ripped the lid of and K unit looked at me confused.

"A rabbit?" Fox asked in disbelief.

"Well you I thought he could be the new addition to K unit, you know with animal names and all."

The rest of k unit looked at me like I had lost my mind while Eagle had picked the rabbit up and was petting it.

"Can we keep him? Please I'll look after him."

Wolf just sighed and looked directly at me

"You can explain to the sergeant why Eagle has a Rabbit; I'm not taking the blame for this one."

Turns out Eagle isn't allowed pets seeing as his last hamster managed to destroy the Sergeant's entire office in less than ten minutes.

I just wished someone had warned me. But snake kept looking at 'Rabbit' as Eagle had dubbed him like it was food so maybe it wouldn't last long enough for the sergeant to find out … maybe.

* * *

><p><strong>sorry its late was studying for my English prelim that got moved back from all the bad weather and my cousin almost killed our computer with his virus infested iPod but hey ho. Review please :^)<strong>


	24. RLA!

**Disclaimer- i own nothing. This chapter isnt as good, i'm still trying to get back into the grove. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Little Bro<p>

* * *

><p>Christmas was a rather quiet affair, well apart from the fact that Snake kept trying to find new ways of getting 'rabbit' in a pot or over the fire so he could be eaten. Eagle had formed a new defence line called "RLA" better known as the "Rabbit Liberation Army." They had turned the living room into a battle field with each member of the Mighty Muscle Men taking a side.<p>

"That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!" I called trying to stir the atmosphere much to Foxes annoyance.

"Hand over the rabbit and we shall promise a quick death." Snake called, Wolf and Jack– who was sick of looking after the rabbit – were trying to get rid of it; whilst Eagle and Raven headed the RLA.

"Never! He is a member of this unit." Eagle cried from the safety of the upturned sofa.

I found it funny watching Fox stand in the middle of the battlefield that was once a lounge trying to get Eagle to put down the fire poker and Snake to return the knife to the kitchen drawer.

"Look lets reach a compromise. Eagle how about we let someone adopt the rabbit, then it's safe and out of Jack's hair." Fox asked trying to negotiate with his unit.

"No!" Eagle and Raven cried brandishing the fire poker and shovel to protect themselves.

I however thought the opposite approach would be better. okay so maybe setting up a false meeting point for 'rabbit's' protection with a 'friend' who would keep Rabbit safe, then selling the information to Snake so they could commence attacking each other in the open. It didn't work as Jack made me clean up the mess they left behind whilst Alex sat on the stairs talking to me about setting up dodgy meetings with the triple M crew. My plan would have worked if Raven hadn't have seen Wolfs reflection in the mirror and scream trap.

It took me a day to convince Eagle that I didn't tell Snake of the meeting he then believed he had a traitor in his mist and kept the rabbit with him at all times. It was day 4 into the war when Fox finally lost it, he waited until Eagle fell asleep and placed the rabbit into Alex's care, and called rank as making Alex swear to say the rabbit made a brake for freedom out of the front door. The rabbit was now living down the street with Mrs Macaffery's daughter's rabbits. Eagle and Raven mourned the loss of their companion giving his rabbit MIA grave a 21 gun salute with party poppers and Snake mourned the loss of a tasty meal.

I could sense Jack's approval of the rabbits disappearance, maybe it's the fact she put on Queens greatests hits and power side around the house rocking out to the solos or the fact she was singing run rabbit run rabbit every minute or so. Alex was amused by the whole thing.

* * *

><p><strong>Tada. yeah i know not great right? ill try harder later. Review and let me know if its worth continuing? <strong>


End file.
